My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
