he shaved USA in his pubs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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