she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am available for nakedness
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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