She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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