Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
