this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
