READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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