FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
