I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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