so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
