I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
