i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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