Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
