i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
