nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
