; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
