I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
