pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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