is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
