That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
