What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
