normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
