just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
