Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
