Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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