i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
