I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
