so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
should my penis look like a turkey
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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