if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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