Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
