If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
