the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
