watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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