Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think your dad took our porno
Two words: nipple clamps
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