New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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