She said her name was "party"
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
