Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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