Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
