The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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