A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
