yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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