She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
