i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
