I molested 6 butterflies tonight
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
