I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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