so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
