Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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