People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
