She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
