lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
