Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
