Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
