Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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