Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
