so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
