Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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