If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
