it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
